Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
