After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
