She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize