I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
please don't ironically join a cult
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