I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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