Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
