just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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