they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
