On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
