check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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