Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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