i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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