i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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