It's Friday. Sex?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
