but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
