I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
