her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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