how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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