just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
