My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
