Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize