I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
