he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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