I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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