yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
