Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
