CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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