dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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