Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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