That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize