South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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