they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
