I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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