I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
