She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
