I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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