I think I died a long time ago.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
