It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
