lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
