so let's talk penis.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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