Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize