Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
