I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
