and you said cock pushups were impossible
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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