I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize