I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
