She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
