If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
