It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
