He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
