they need to just BURY HIM!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
