cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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