If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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