how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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