I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
