i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
