i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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