i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
there is puke in my bra ... again
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