Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
