Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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