I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
