So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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