You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize