he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
