Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
