I just pynch a tree in the face
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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