fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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