Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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