Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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