Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We are two peas in an std pod
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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