Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
