Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
